CHAPTER FOUR:
SMELLING SALT!
At that moment, the power came back and suddenly, we were much relieved. But there was an audible noise from upstairs and both of us went silent, trying to strain our ears and hear what it was. It seemed to be a loud cackle from my Boudi, who was amused all by herself, and gleefully shouting;
“Ki moja, ki moja! Current eshe gechhe, ki moja!”
(What fun, what fun! The power is back, what fun!)
My brother and I looked at each other, speechless, and I found it very hard to stop myself from bursting into a fit of laughter. My brother looked very serious and suggested;
“I think we should call a doctor, before she goes completely mad!”
“Come on, she’s a little high. She just needs to sleep.”
My brother suddenly walked to the showcase, picked up the phone and started to dial. I was alarmed and asked him who he was dialling.
“My doctor friend, Joydeep!”
Dr. Joydeep Bannerjee was my brother’s school mate, and I knew him well from our growing up days, in the small township of Haldia. His father and our father shared a common employer, The Calcutta Port Trust, and our buildings were within two hundred metres of each other. Although, I had lost all contact with Joydeep da and had not seen him in almost fifteen years, my brother was still in touch with his childhood friends.
– “Hello, Joydeep? How are you? Sorry to bother you at this hour.”
I looked up at the wall clock, it was past 1 am. I couldn’t hear what Joydeep da was saying, but this one way conversation was no less memorable.
– “Listen…Joydeep… errr.. I have a little problem… ha ha… actually, the missus had a little siddhi with us this evening…. yes yes, Shivratri .. ha ha… and now, she is out … no no … still conscious, actually very conscious. …. But talking nonsense and becoming very irritating.”
I was standing at the doorway, listening to his words, as he covered up his concern with the occasional forced chuckles.
– “Can you suggest something… errr.. to… you know… like break her stupor?”
– “No no, I am not alone, Bhai is with me”
– “What? Lavender oil?”
He turned to me and asked;
– “Bhai, do we have Lavender Oil?”
– “What? Never heard of it” – I responded.
– “No Joydeep, we don’t have Lavender Oil.. What? Ammonium Bicarbonate?”
He turned towards me again, I shrugged and gave him a really irritated look back.
– “No Joydeep, we don’t have that either. What? … Smelling Salt?”
As he looked at me again, I almost snapped back at him with irritation;
– “What am I? A Pharmacy?”
My brother continued the conversation in a low voice; all the options that his doctor friend had suggested, seemed to be impractical and therefore ‘no bueno’!
– “Okay, let me see if I can find something” were his last words, before he hung up the telephone. As I looked quizzically at him, he looked down briefly, scratched his head for a moment, and then looked up at me and said;
– “Joydeep said if we can find something that is very strong in flavour or strong in odour, it might help break her trance. But I am not sure what can be useful”
I pondered over it for a while and jokingly replied;
– “Can’t say much about the flavour, but if there is one thing that beats all for strong smell, it has to be your used pair of socks!”
He laughed at the joke and sat down on a chair facing the TV, but it was clear that he was deep in thought, wondering how he could save his newly married wife. I used this opportunity to try knocking on the window of my mother’s room, once again. It was all to no avail, as there was still no audible response from my mother. I must admit, I started to worry a little and came back to the living room, to ask my brother if we should do something to check on our mother.
My brother was kneeling down next to the sofa, extending his left arm to reach for something deep under the sofa, but the moment he saw me, he stood up with a brisk movement. I had this feeling, that he swiftly hid something and put it in his pocket, but I couldn’t see it clearly, and I was too high to even be sure, that this was not just a figment of my imagination. My brother announced that he was going upstairs to be with his wife, and without any delay he started walking up the stairs.
It happened too fast for me to comprehend, but I realised there was not much value to add, by staying downstairs all by myself, so I started to follow him at a slow pace.
As I approached the door to their bedroom, I heard their voices and decided to stand outside the door, rather than barge in while they were having a private moment.
– “Come come, let’s play Antakshari all night” – my sister had still not given up on her grand idea.
– “Listen darling, tomorrow all day we will play Antakshari, I promise you. We can even have a competition involving everyone from the area. But now, it’s late, let’s go to sleep” – my brother insisted.
– “No, I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay up all night!”
– “My wife doesn’t love me, she doesn’t listen to me as well, I am so sad. I will cry now” – he replied, making a loud, pretentious sobbing noise as I stood outside the door, listening to this weird conversation and laughing by myself.
– “No no, of course your wife loves you, please don’t cry!”; she sounded genuinely apologetic.
– “Really? You love me? Then let’s lie down, like our wedding night!”
At this point, I started to wonder if it would be appropriate for me, to stand there and listen to this newly wed couple, or if I should just walk away and settle down in the living room below. God knows, what is coming next!
– “Good Girl!” my brother continued, as I concluded that she must have listened to his request and finally laid down on the bed. My brother started singing a song that he made up on the spot, both the lyrics and the tune. It had words like ‘The princess sleeps” or something similar, and Boudi seemed comfortable for a while. But the next moment, she started to complain again;
– “I have a head ache, I don’t want to lie down”
– “No no, I have an idea. Let me massage your head, you will feel fine. Here, turn that way.. yes, away from me… that is my wife. Close your eyes.. Yessss… Now, let me heal your head ache.. HEADACHE! GO AWAY FROM MY WIFE! SHOOO!”
All this while, standing at their bedroom door, I was listening to this comical conversation between my dada and my Boudi, and laughing hysterically. It was impossible for me to stop my laughter, although I was alert enough to make it completely soundless, and this additional effort made me feel cramps in my stomach muscles, and it was almost painful. That’s when I heard a loud cry from my sister-in-law;
– “WHAT IS THAT? What is that smell? UGGGGHHHHH! What is this?”
– “It’s nothing darling, just close your eyes! Try to take a deep breath…” – my brother insisted calmly.
– “Wait! Let me see… is that your sock? EWWWWWW!!!”
But my brother calmly instructed;
– “Just take a deep breath, I promise you will love it!”
My Boudi jumped up from her lying position, and protested vociferously, as my brother tried to hold his own used sock at her nose, and somehow persuade, if not physically force her, to breathe through it. My stomach felt like it would explode from this burst of laughter!
